Monday, March 7, 2011

Saturn's Return

Right, so here I was finally settling in and getting comfortable when along comes Saturn’s return to pull the rug out from under me. Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing. I realize the universe has a way of putting you on the right path, but a little warning would have been nice. Then again, maybe I was so caught up in the comfort and consistency of it all that I ignored the warning signs. Either way, it is what it is, there’s nothing I can do about it. All I can do is move forward and stay open to all the new and fabulous opportunities that are sure to come my way now that I’ve made some room for them.

Let’s go back a bit for those of you who are lost right now. My job of 5 years recently ended. On Friday, actually. The whole thing came as quite a shock. It’s kind of like being on a canceled sitcom that never got to tape a final episode. On Friday while some guy I’ve never seen before spoke to us about “landing on our feet” I looked around the room at the faces of all the people who have been like a second family to me for the past 5 years and slowly went into shock. Then suddenly the words I had heard only one week before started to flood my mind. While on a trip to PA last Saturday I engaged in a conversation with a woman who after discovering my age proceeded to explain the occurrence of Saturn’s return to me. After a thorough explanation she admitted that for the most part she was talking out of her ass, but encouraged me to look it up, and so I did. For those of you that don’t know, Saturn’s return is an astrological phenomenon which occurs at 27-29 and sometimes even 30 year intervals. It is believed that as Saturn returns to the degree in its orbit occupied at the time of birth, a person crosses over a major threshold and enters the next stage of life. Each return will cause people to reevaluate and often leads to major life changes. It is not uncommon for relationships and/or jobs to end during this time. Sounds kind of shitty, right? That’s what I thought at first, but apparently it’s not all about painful endings. Supposedly during this time people also tend to gain a better vision of what they want from and where they’re going in life. I’m looking forward to that.

I feel like I’ve been on this journey for the last couple of years wondering where I’m going and what’s expected of me. But what if there are no expectations? What is it that I want from life? The problem wasn’t that I didn’t know the answer to that question; it was that I didn’t have the time to figure it out. But now by taking away, the universe has also given. The river has gone from lazy to rapid and there’s nothing I can do but let go and allow it to carry me in its current to where I’m meant to be.