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There have been a lot of times in life when I haven't gotten what I wanted. Sometimes I got nothing, and other times I received something else instead. At first the something else usually took some getting used to, but in the end it always seemed better suited for me than what I had originally set my hopes on obtaining.
Whatever the choices, whatever the course, life has led me to the here and now. And while it may not be what I had originally planned on, I'm finding that it may be what was meant to be all along. I'm happy and comfortable. I've worked hard and can now take time when I need time to do what is necessary for my happiness. We all strive to be the best, and maybe sometimes we have the best but don't realize it because we are always searching for more. I'm not saying you should ever give up or settle for what you know is less; I'm just saying take an inventory every once in a while. Sometimes those things you wanted several years ago no longer matter. However, if you find that they are still important to you, than by all means, don't stop until you've obtained them.
I'm at a point right now where I've stopped pushing in one direction or the other. It's nice to just float sometimes. I feel like eventually this stream will drop me on the shore of a new adventure, and by then I will have saved some energy to do everything that's waiting for me there.
I used to be a firm believer in doing everything as quickly as possible. I never wanted a moment to pass me by. And in being like that I often made hasty decisions that led me off course. Now, I'm not saying don't seize the opportunity when it presents itself. I'm just saying know yourself well enough to know if it's the best choice for you.
I have beat myself up for many years wondering what if about so many different situations. But I feel like I'm finally starting to step into the light now. I'm happy with who I am and what I'm capable of accomplishing. There is no other person like me out there and that gives me such a sense of pride and confidence. I still have no idea what lies ahead, but I'm less scared about it now. I know that with each step I'm coming closer to my destiny. And while I don't know what that will be, I know it will be good, and I know that I will know what to do when I get there because life has been preparing me all along.
Some people reach their destinies faster than others, but that's just because they were ready. So, while I'm still not 100% sure, and therefore not 100% ready, I have decided to stop fighting and questioning the process and just give myself up to it. I mean, it's led me here. Which isn't such a bad place after all.
